hunting and gathering

This was in the free paper we get thrown on our door step, I thought it was hilarious- I even sent it in to Cake Wrecks- sadly, she didn't find it as amusing as I did.

The park across the street from me has a community garden,and I have been trying to get 'into' it for a couple years now, once again I have been skunked. The applications to get in went on line on Monday- I ought to say suppose to because they were not! I waited till Weds. and then called, the lady told me that you had to come to the Parks and Rec. office and pick one up- and it just so happens to be clear across town. No problem, I really want this so I drive my gas hog of a van to their office and snatch up the paper work and settle down to fill it out right on the spot. And as my eyes skim over the sheet I see MY park crossed out in heavy lines with FULL written after it. Whats this all about???? Oh, everyone who successfully gardened last year gets the first option of that park. she said in a saccharine voice. What about a waiting list??? Oh there isn't one, you can't get on it. BUGGER.

Gee, thanks for telling me on the phone before I totally wasted gas and time driving over here, oh, and here's a kick in my pants for not thinking to ask the right questions on the phone. But this is all negative thinking, I'm not going to go down this path . No, I have a plan 'B'. I'll just dig up my backyard this spring and plant my 50,000 dollar tomatoes there. Of 'course my husband will divorce me over that, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. See, no worries. So- feeling like a saint or something because I didn't get upset or get my stress level up , I lit the application on fire and tossed it into the trash can on my way out

You know, it sure feels good to make that first step in handling disappointment like a grown up.

Hi yah

Don't freak- Its actually Jan. 19- but I started this last week and since blogger is one messed up puppy- it shows the date from last week. Just go with me here,
Behold the hat.
It came out kinda funnie.
It sits weird on my models noggin so I am considering a redo. maybe. Needs more thought.

Yeah, as I sit here looking at it, in person and on the pic, it's bizarre. No new mommy would want her kid looked at with smirks because crazy 'Aunt' Olga knit her baby a hat that makes one think of , ummmm, yeah. What you just said.


What to write...... what to write...
You know- the grey blahness of Jan. makes my whole body go into a hibernation state. I have been assimilated into the Borg couch. All I've done is make little things with yarn and listen to books on my MP3 player. And look at robot chicken videos. (the star wars ones kill me.) I also have about a billion things I ought to be doing, but it's too much . Like moving a queen set of mattresses a friend is giving me. But I have to take apart the bunk beds in one girls room and move those *somewhere* and then go fetch the mattresses which, by the way, I have to move myself because her husband has a bad back and they just happen to live on the second floor. Yeah.
No prob-lem-o.

And since we're talking about going into that undiscovered country of other peoples psyc- we were weren't we??? I had this little talky with a friend a couple weekends ago and I think maybe she might be- maybe a little? mentally unstable. I've thought this for several years because of her erratic behavior and pretty much having no control over her outburst of anger and not thinking things through logically. and shes 43! Which doesn't really mean anything 'cept you would think acting like a 16 year old would have been toned down by lack of hormones by this time. But I digress.....
I also had a little talky with this guy I've known for awhile, never really heard his life story, so since I was in a hour car ride with the him, I pulled out the 'hat'( see above) and started knitting and getting nosey. I felt just like Miss.Marple, harmlessly knitting while getting the confession out of the killer. But the we only killed an hour- just to set the record stright.... Found out the usual- messy divorce, angry adult kids who still find ways to punish him, etc etc etc. Pretty much the tale of 90% of Americans. But now I know .....I guess .

So the next day I went to church and and this woman who I've been friends with for a long time comes up to me and says she really needs to talk to me, alas- I cannot. I didn't bring my talking hat project....( just kidden) anywhoooo- she goes on to tell me about this guy who, from what she is describing, is stalking her. ETA- and the dude looks like Freddie Mercury- CREEPER!!!!
She did not use the word, but the actions and behavior say 'stalker'. You know the MO, always calling, always suggesting things to do together, showing up at her work when she gets off, magically appearing wherever shes at....she always says no and doesn't answer the phone when he calls But he doesn't take the hint... and today, she was 30 minutes late and the moment she pulls into the parking space his car slides up beside her. And then he goes on to tell people- " I'm with her" ...okaaaaaay- sounds like a creeper so far. So I take her to the back door and to the parking lot and tell her to get in her car and leave, go before he knows you left. So she takes off and I go sit in the bathroom thinking over how I just let myself get sucked into a Jr. high behavior. After a LOOOOng think about it, I leave the sanctuary of my cone of silence- that's how I've come to think of it now....I see him wandering around looking for her. Now I'm torn, do I go up to the 'stalker'- if he is indeed is- people are truly crazy these days- cuz I really don't know whats really going on here, and just letting him know- she not interested and your wasting your time. Or smile and pretend I know nothing- nothing! But I don't know this guy- never saw him before and I really don't want to get mixed up in this craziness. Well, I did nothing. Just watch him go out to the parking lot and look for her car, saw it was gone and then he left.
To go strangle her. No, not really. He didn't, but thats where my mind was going, the worse case sernario.
I know why guys are attracted to her, she single, never married, no kids, tall and thin and can so much fun to be around, on good days. She can make me laugh till I start crying. But the baggage. Oi- Vey!!!!! She has always had a lot of guys buzzing around her and she has rejected all of them. But still wants a hunk to sweep her off her feet, the Mr.Darcy syndrome. I hope she finds him, I really do. And creeper boy shoves off. But she's got to do that herself.

Ok, enough of that. Here's another bag or two I've been working on, the fingerless glove thing is put on hold for, well, indefinitely.

My daughters kept dropping there MP3 players because their mama is too cheap to buy them a little holder, so I used up my wool scraps and make these little pouches, thats what world class mommas do anyhow- and sewed some beads on them 'cus, well, its cute. I made them a bit too squat, they should of been a bit longer and thinner for the players, but felting isn't a exact science, now is it? I made a bigger one before I made these sibling but - the incredibly bad blogger I am -I forgot to snap a pic and gave it away.

I love the way the brown and white one looks,



I cast on pronto for another one of these because it looks like a sock monkey pouch! I feel so happy I'm getting rid of all the wool scraps. My stash is beginning to look pretty thin, I still have a ton of sock yarn to get through, that may take a while.....

Oh and this sweater to go with the hat. The button holes are done sooooo poorly I'm actually feeling sheepish showing this, its such crap. I've been paralyzed with inaction trying to decide if I ought to rip it or just start another one and do the button holes totally different. The baby is due any day now so I need to get after it.

Thats all folks, I've got a date with a download and he's ordering the lobster....

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine...

Last day of 2008- never to be seen or re-lived again for eternity.

Guess I ought to write something. Ruth gave me a poke with a sharp stick to get me out of my stupor- THANKS FOR CARING RUTH! It's funnie, but if I don't write on this it becomes really easy to totally forget about it, then all of a sudden its like " OH NO! I forgot to feed the dog! Its been a WHOLE MONTH! I hope he 's not dead." I have dreams like that, like I forgot and left a kid at the bus station and shes only 9 and for sure she'll be kidnapped and ITS ALL MY FAULT! yeah, kinda like that......

It's been a month, let see.... got into a fender bender, had two migraines, cooked what seemed like thousands of tamales, went shopping on Christmas eve AND the day after Christmas- (one word, ugly. ) got more of those odious brag letters of how everyone has the PERFECT life- they ought to make a reality TV show about all these perfect people- oh ,but wait- it's not 'reality'.........oh yeah, and substituted for a friend's kid on her paper route- I guess shoveling snow from your driveway and sidewalk isn't the thing to do nowadays- ( insert preferred swear word here ) and....and..... and.........knitting. There's always a bit of knitting. Thank God.

How grateful I am to have this little activity in my life, Yes, it can cause a lot of stress and anxiety- but its so sweet to just sit in my fav chair and do something comforting and well, I guess linear . To see it thorough from the cast on to the cast off. Seriously, it was the only life line to sanity I had while chaos broke out around me with the stress of the anticipation of 'presents' hanging in the air. Somehow-when there is a gift looming in the soon future, that just fuels the fires of brattiness in kids. Even 16 year old kids.

Anyhow- here's the first of the fingerless mitts I did , These are a variation of the famous Fetching, didn't do them 'zackly like the pattern, I decided I very strongly dislike the thumb . I tried a different yarn since the wool I had from Knitpics pills so bad, but as you can see, this wasn't much better even though it had some of that evil acrylic in it. I used Carons Simply soft, They are pretty shabby after 1 month of wear.

Still using Caron, I did these with a cap to keep your fingers warm. I didn't really use a pattern, just cabled and it was kinda like knitting a sock with a removable toe.

And that teal colored one was a PLEASURE to knit. I used the pattern Chevron Mitts by tinysushi.com

ooooooooooo my goodness. What a joy to knit. This was knitting Nirvana for me. It just flowed and the thumb! How many ways can I wax poetic about how sweet and organic the thumb was constructed and they just hug your hand and fit like a glove. Just as it should. I love this pattern. You must love this pattern. Or I'll never acknowledge you. Ever.

That's my conditional love.

Another fun knit, these babies just kinda made themselves. I lost the label to the yarn but I know they were a wool and bamboo and acrylic blend. I think. Anyhoo- another 'knit like a sock but not a sock' and just noodled the pattern as I went. I ate it up like a cookie. I love the way the top looks like a little hat. Sooo cute.

Last pair, for my daughter friend's b-day.I finished weaving the ends in last night while watching " The Ant Bully" Deep movie.

Not. But I loved Nicholas' voice.

I have one more pair of fingerless to make for my Mother-inlaw. think I can get them done before Jan.6th? ummm, no. She said she wanted a pair to pick up dog poo with when she walks her dog 'cuz mittens are too hard to do it with. Oh. Well, She'll get them eventually.

Here's a hat for Moi I started, pretty straight forward K-P ribbed hat. Just something to keep my noggin warm . Nothing to blog about.

And this! This is my new precious! I now can download audio books and listen at my leisure. Here's the first of many 'books' I did on Christmas day. You must love this too. Or you know what...

And lastly- AT LAST!

I finally got a picture of a baby wearing something I made.

"Pleeezzze mommy- make the bad lady go 'way! Shes skary!"

It's winter in South Dakota

And the gentle breezes blow

Seventy miles an hour

At twenty-five below.

Oh, how I love South Dakota

When the snow's up to your butt

You take a breath of winter

And your nose gets frozen shut.

Yes, the weather here is wonderful

So I guess I'll hang around

I could never leave South Dakota

'Cause my feet are frozen to the ground.

Happy Thanks Give Me Day- just remember! You are what you eat........

The use and ABUSE of Towels in this household:

Here's my pet peeve today.... we have two bathrooms, one upstairs and one downstairs. 3 peeps use the downstairs and 3 peeps use upstairs. I happen to be one of the upstairs dwellers, here is my bathroom this Am. Is it unreasonable to think that EIGHT towel's are a bit much for three people???! Hello???? Even if we allow that each person used 2 towels- one for hair and one for body, how come we have 8 towels hanging all over the place? Do these people hate me? I went ballistic over the downstairs towel problem and refused to wash anymore towels because those people use 'em like tissues and frankly, I don't think the water supply in this city will hold out if I continue washing the amount of towels I have been washing.

AAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH! let me assure you- heads will roll.

And offspring: if you happen to read this, you may want to avoid coming home today....

Ok, it's freezing and snow and all kinds of stuff I'm getting a hate on right now for so I give you this:
6Teen.
I watched this zombie episode with my kids last night and it became a special moment of bonding where we actually laughed at the same things. Rare and precious. Especially since I have one who will be sixteen in days......

I'm so grateful today is the last day of of Ack-tumor. gag. Not a pleasant month or a wonderland of color month or bundling up by a fire and reading Jane Austin month.
NO.
This has been a month of high anxiety - fear and confusion and 29 days out of 31 of PMS month. And when will the horror end month. I'm pretty sure my blood pressure has gone up 8o% since Sept. 30.
Why?
( major whine fest comin-up here)
First- I started a new tutoring job- 3 students. Before I met them I was TERRIFIED. I couldn't sleep and my stomach was upset and I started to have diarrhea( I know, TMI) and was just scared to look stupid- mess up and teach them how to fail in school and be the class dunce, etc. Really ridiculous thoughts that just tortured me. I was a basket case. Now- statistically- I am going to be a lot bigger than a 7 year old, I could take 'em if it came down to that, and my life experience is going to outstrip anything that kid knows, and truly- I can whip through a Cat in the Hat book like nobody's business! I kept telling myself to get a grip!
But- the psychotic break from reality had already happened.....
So I met the kiddos and they are ok, not scary but fear # 2 raises it's ugly head. These kids live in baaaaaad neighborhoods. In fact- the word neighbor isn't even used in connection with these blocks- it's just the 'hood. No parking near the Apts. so I have to park around the corner and walk by a bunch of guys loitering around. OK, not so bad at 6:00- until THE TIME CHANGE. Now its pitch black outside when I go strolling back to my car all ANGLO and FEMALE and basically looking ripe for the mugging. But I think I've solved that. At 6:oo I'm gonna bust out the apt. door at a dead run and Sprint to my Van and fling myself into the drivers seat. Yep- that'll baffle 'em. Crazy Anglo female running with Dr. Seuss tote bag on her back -Whoa! Dudes! Stay back!

Crazy thoughts #3 is that while I'm gone MY offspring are endearing themselves by:
A: locking each other out of the house and screaming and banging on the door so the neighbors go out side to see what all the commotion is about.
B: Lighting candles or the gas stove and burning down the house,
C: getting kidnapped on the way home from school and nobody knows it till after 6:30 when I get home realise they are missing
D: eating any and all foodstuffs in house and in a hunger induced madness totally trash house and kitchen because 'they were cooking'( see 'B' above)
Then the child welfare shows up and hauls them all to foster homes because- obviously -I'm a bad parent.
Hmm- anything else?
Well-I was so preoccupied with telling myself horror stories and feeling freaked out that I sailed through a red light and because God takes care of babies and fools: I didn't get T-boned in the intersection. I guess a big red club van being driven by middle aged frau was warning enough to the other drivers to stay right where they are.

Oprah sez you have to have a gratefulness journal and write three things down to counter balance all the negative things your stinkin thinkin is polluting your pure well of good thoughts with.

whatever.
And just let me add that I can hardly wait for this assine election to be OVER!!!! How many forests of trees went down to make all the political mailing that have buried my mailbox??? I can't help but wonder how many gazillons of dollars that were wasted on signs and ads and what ever other crap they spent it on. We could of singlehandedly fed and clothed and filled every cavitie and whitened the teeth of man, woman and child in a third world country with the money they spend on begging for you to vote for Joe Smoe. Does any of that really work to get someone to change their vote form Mr. A to Mr. B?? I think everyone is set in their ways and its just a waste of materials. Well- thats my unasked for opinion....

OK, OK- enough with the Drama Queen antics.....
Did I mention that back in Aug. when I met my daughters 4th grade teacher I felt bad cuz nobody signed up to be the room mother so..... I........... did? Oh, yes- I surely did. There's this big word on my back that reads sucker. I know, bummer of a birthmark.
So today - on a holiday that was invented by Hallma*k and the sugar council- I 'get' to go host a "party' and I do use that term loosely- because I know-just know- this will be a free for all for 28 unbelievably hyper 9 years olds barely being reined in by a few exhausted adults.
fun times.
Little do they know that I'm lacing the pop with benadryl- their mothers will thank me later.

Knitting? Excuuuuse Moi? Whats wrong with yo head?